Can We Really Go Home? - Ghee

Can we really go home?  I visited my childhood home for the first time in years. Home, meaning the place where I grew up. A place that that brings memories of my mother, a safe place that will forever be my first home.

The last time I came home was for my mother's funeral. There are so many things I remember about that visit. Pulling up to the house filled with family and friends, but not her. I remember Poet and Flower sitting in their stroller during the funeral. They were just shy of one and had no inkling of what was happening around them. They crawled around the house, exploring innocently. Their memories of their grandmother will come from my memories of her and the few pictures of her holding them as babies. She passed away just five days short of their birthday.

And so my father would always come to visit us after that. He came for holidays and to spend time with Poet and Flower. But for years I did not go home. I did not have the heart to step into a house when she would not be there—always standing in the kitchen, cleaning this and that, always cooking. It was her house.

But my father is getting older, and making the trip is harder and harder for him. And at some point, we all have to go home. Poet and Flower were excited by the trip. They wanted to see where Mommy grew up. They were curious about a house with an upstairs and downstairs and stairs, something we don't have.

But I was anxious. Actually very anxious. I could not picture a home without her. As we drove from the airport, the kids kept asking when we were going to get there. After a plane ride and car ride, they were tired and had heard so much about my home. But as I kept saying home, they were confused because home was back in Indianapolis. That was their home, with mom, dad, and them.

But my anxiety was for nothing. The house was the same, or almost. And my dad was there, still my family. He welcomed us warmly, just as Mom would have. He had made dal and rice. The garden was full of tomatoes, okra, and green peppers. My dad had done his best to keep it the way she had. I stood in the garden looking around, thinking how much she would have wanted to be here.

Things change. Things happen that are not within our control. We can always go home, it may not be the same, but it will always be home.

Ghee

Ghee or clarified butter is an Indian staple. It has a rich nutty flavor that complements so many foods. Use it as a condiment or garnish for dishes. I grew up eating roti with ghee and a touch of sugar, a guilty pleasure.

Makes about 1/2 cup

• 1/2 lb unsalted butter

1. Place butter in a medium saucepan. Heat butter over medium heat and bring to a gentle boil. Slowly cook, it should gently simmer and bubble. Intially it will foam and then the milk solids will slowly fall to the bottom of the pan. This should take about 10-15 minutes.
2. The ghee will have a golden color when done. Gently pour through a strainer into a airtight container.
3. It will keep at room temperature for about a month.