Some Boundaries are Meant to be Pushed - Aloo Bonda

Boundaries surround us. They are everywhere. Driving to work - stop signs, stop lights, and double yellow lines in the middle of the road. And they exist in our lives both literally and figuratively. There are boundaries in our professional and personal lives, things we can and can't say and can and can't do. How do we know when a boundary can be pushed or not?

Poet and Flower are constantly pushing boundaries. (Perhaps Poet more than Flower.) As kids, they are just beginning to navigate the world, grow as little people, and find out what they can and can't do. They will innocently ask - can we have candy at bedtime? (That's a no.) Can we watch a little extra tv before dinner? (Yes.) Can we put food coloring in a bottle, shake it, and do science experiments in the family room? (That's a definite no, having had to clean food coloring out of the sofa, the blankets, and many other things.)

Sometimes pushing boundaries can be a good thing. Watching Poet and Flower swim in the ocean this summer reminded me of this. They have just begun to become stronger swimmers, and over the last year, they have slowly gained confidence and the skills to keep them safe. And so, at the beach, they cautiously ventured into the water. First a little scared of the crash of the waves and the slight chill of the water. But, slowly, very slowly, they ventured out.

At first, G and I said they could only go out to their knees. Then they turned and, with a smile, asked can we go out further? They ventured out several feet, now bobbing in the waves happily with other kids. By the end of the day, they were comfortable and swimming happily. They were given one final boundary. They couldn't go past the furthest swimmer in the waves. They had pushed the limits all day and with good results. They were happy they could swim in the ocean, not afraid of the waves or the water.

But sometimes boundaries cannot be breached. And if they are, there is no turning back. A colleague was recently let go from work. There is no nice way to say fired or, more kindly, shown the door. He had pushed a boundary, taken something that was not his, and given it away. Something he admitted he should have never done and was absolutely a mistake. But the damage had been done, the boundary pushed. There was no going back. And sadly, pushing this boundary had consequences for everyone.

Boundaries do exist, and they can be tricky. We all have them, even if sometimes they can be grey. Some are good, and some aren't. Some are meant to be pushed, and others can't be moved despite our best efforts. It's up to us to learn the difference. And even more importantly, for us to teach Poet and Flower this skill.

Aloo Bonda

This is a delicious South Indian snack. I grew up enjoying it in the afternoon with chai. They are filled with buttery potatoes spiced with curry leaves and turmeric. Make sure the batter is nice and thick and coats the bonda, so you get a thick crunchy coating. The contrast of the crunchy outside and soft spicy potatoes in the center is perfect.

Serves 6

Prep Time 30 minutes

Cook Time 30 minutes

Total Time 60 minutes

Ingredients

• 1 cup besan (chickpea flour)

• 1/2 teaspoon chili powder

• 1 teaspoon salt

• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda

• 3/4 cup water, approximately 

  Potato Filling

• 2 medium potatoes - cut into 1 1/2 inch cubes

• 2 tablespoons oil

• 1 medium onion, chopped

• 2-3 green chilis, to taste - cut into pieces

• 1 inch of ginger, minced

• 1/2 teaspoon mustard seeds

• 1 stem curry leaves

• 1/4 teaspoon turmeric or haldi

1. In a medium saucepan, cover poatoes with one inch of water. Bring to boil and then simmer for 10-15 minutes until soft when pierced with a knife.

2. Heat oil in heavy bottom wok or fry pan. Addd mustard seeds until they pop, about 30 seconds. Then add curry leaves, give it a stir. Add onions and chilis and saute until onions are translucent, about 5 minutes. Add ginger and fry for a minute.

3. Add potatoes and mix well with the sauteed onions. Add turmeric. Season with salt.

4. Cook on low heat, for 5 minutes.

5. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, chili powder, salt and baking soda. Slowly whisk in water until the batter is smooth and still thick enough to coat the back of a spoon.

6. To assemble bonda. Take the potato mixture and gently roll into a 1 1/2 inch ball. Dip in the batter and coat thoroughly

7. Heat a frypan with 1-2 inches of oil over medium/high heat.  Gently drop in the bonda and fry for 4-5 minutes turning once. They will be golden and crispy when done.

8. Serve hot with ketchup or tamarind sauce.Steps