Tired of Waiting - Adrak Chai

I'm waiting. I spend a good part of my life waiting for things. I wait at the grocery store in line. At school, in the car line to pick up the kids. I will get there with several minutes to spare, only to find a long and tortuous line of moms who spend even more time waiting than I do. But when is it ok to say I'm tired of waiting?

Becoming a physician, by far, has been the most amount of waiting. Waiting for the delayed gratification of becoming a "real" physician, treating patients on your own, and finally coming into your own. Years of patience with the idea that this will one day pay off. I remember my days of being a resident in training, eating giant unhealthy pistachio muffins for breakfast, and spending long nights up looking after patients.

One morning one of the cancer surgeons walked in to see her patients for the morning. She was dressed smartly in a tweed blazer, a pencil skirt, and heels (not too high that screamed pain, but cute little ones that had just a hint of practicality.) With grace and confidence, she took care of what she needed to do and moved along with the rest of her day. I was sure that was what I wanted to be one day. Smart, assured and caring. I would wait for just that.

As a kid, you learn to be patient and wait. Wait for your turn, and your turn will come. But what if your turn never comes? Sure it's easy to wait for coffee at Starbucks, but that is something small and tangible. G and I talk about retirement often. That nebulous and very far off time when we won't work, and we will have all the time in the world. Poet and Flower will be in college or graduated and living their own lives. And in this supposed time, we will enjoy the fruits of our labor.

But what if our time is now? My parents saved and saved so that I could go to college and, ultimately, medical school. They put off so many things that, realistically, they could have enjoyed when they were younger. I will always be immensely grateful for their hard work and diligence. They put off vacations so that both my brother and I could have a good education, a sure path to a better life.

But my mother passed away before she could enjoy growing older, playing with grandchildren, and all the other things we spend so much time waiting for. She spent her whole life waiting only to find her time cut short. And so how much waiting is enough waiting?

And perhaps that means there needs to be a balance. Enjoy today. There will always be things we are waiting for, but that cannot define us.

Adrak Chai

This is a spicy and soothing Indian tea. Make it by simmering black tea, fresh ginger and milk. Enjoy in the afternoons with some savory snacks.

Serves 2

• 1 inch of ginger (grated (about 2-3 teaspoons))
• 1 cup water
• 3/4 cup milk
• 2 teaspoons loose tea (or 2 tea bags)
• 2 teaspoons sugar

1. In a medium saucepan, heat the water until boiling. Add the ginger and tea. Simmer 4 minutes.
2. Add in the milk and sugar. Bring to a boil and then simmer for 4 minutes. Adjust the sugar to make more or less sweet.
3. Serve hot with your favorite snack.

I don't typically peel the ginger.