Cancer Sucks - Hyderabadi Dahi ki Kadhi

Cancer sucks. For the longest time, this phrase would irk me. Perhaps that is an understatement. It was more of an annoyance in a deeply visceral way. I think the words hit so close to home.

My mother passed away on a sunny May day. She had been ill for some time, but she was an active, vibrant person before that. She was a mom, a wife, a sister, and a good friend. As a physician, I would hear similar stories from families. I would listen sympathetically and be empathetic and understanding. But I did not understand, but really how can you truly understand. My mother's illness began slowly and subtlely, making it all the more insidious. She would forget a word here and there. She would lapse into speaking Urdu, her native tongue when she was having a conversation in English. I did not notice these changes at all. Perhaps my mother did, but as is all too common, she was too afraid to have it investigated should it be something serious. G finally did notice. He said, one day, your mom sounds funny on the phone. I casually replied, no, not really, it's just Mom being mom. Maybe she was tired after gardening or working around the house. But in just a few short weeks, the small slips became more noticeable until they could not be ignored.

My father and mother finally went to see the neurologist after weeks of cajoling and prodding. I thought perhaps my mom had had a minor stroke at some point and that she would soon be better. I could not wrap my head around anything more serious. The truth was far worse. The neurologist listened and ordered an MRI to see if perhaps there was something more. So, on my parent's anniversary, instead of celebrating with bad Chinese food (their go-to), they found themselves in a cold, sterile hospital. The MRI showed a large brain mass, so large that the radiologist refused to send my mother home. The diagnosis,or lack of, was so serious that she could not go home. And within days, she had surgery finding brain cancer. Glioblastoma. A common form of brain cancer with a terrible prognosis. The surgeon described its terrible beauty, small tendrils branch out from the tumor, making it impossible to remove completely, leaving behind just enough so that someone would never be better.

I remember my mother that morning before her surgery. She was sitting up cheerfully in her hospital bed in one of her favorite robes. She said don't worry as moms always do. The tree people had come to take down some dying trees in our yard, and they were humming away behind me. The day-to-day routines must continue despite these giant upheavals in our lives. I will always remember her that way that morning, before the months of radiation and therapy.

And so I cook to remember her and so Poet and Flower can too. This week I made Dahi ki kadhi. It is a perfect light dinner for a hot summer evening. In this Hyderabadi recipe, masala vada soak in a thickened yogurt sauce. Masala vada are a popular South Indian snack made with Indian lentils or chana dal. The yogurt sauce is slowly thickened over low heat with curry leaves, onions, and turmeric. Serve it a room temperature with rice.

Cancer does suck. Everyone has different ways of expressing those feelings. Next time I see someone with the shirt, I will nod in understanding.

Hyderabadi Dahi ki Kadhi

A delicious Hyderabadi dish of masala vada in a thickened yogurt sauce. Simmer the yogurt with curry leaves, onions and mustard seeds. Perfect for a light lunch or hot summer evening.

Masala vadai are a popular South Indian snack. These fritters are made of channa dal, onions, and cilantro. Find the recipe for masala vada or channa dal vadai here.

Serves 6

• 2 cups whole milk yogurt
• 1/2 teaspoon chili powder
• 1/2 teaspoon turmeric
• 2 tablespoons neutral oil
• 1 small onion (chopped)
• 1/2 teaspoon mustard seeds
• 3 stems curry leaves
• 2 green chilis (chopped)
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons chopped cilantro
• Approximately 10-15 masala vadai

1. In a medium bowl, whisk the yogurt the chili powder and turmeric until smooth. Set aside.
2. Heat the oil in a saucepan over medium heat. Add the mustard seeds, and saute about 30 seconds. When they sputter (be careful here, they can really pop!) add the curry leaves and saute for a minute until they are fragrant.
3. Add the onions and green chilis and saute until lightly browned, about 10 minutes.
4. Turn the heat down to a low simmer, and add the yogurt. Cook over low heat until thickened about 10 minutes. You don't want the heat too high otherwise the yogurt will break.
5. Add the vadai and let sit at least one hour until serving. Sprinkle with fresh cilantro. Serve at room temperature with rice