Learning about Expectations - Masala Dosa

It had been some time since we had been out for dinner. Perhaps my expectations were too high. This dinner was before these times of social distancing, and before our favorite restaurants disappeared. The hostess very nicely said she would pace our meal. I was looking forward to a leisurely dinner with a glass of wine and some adult conversation. I was surprised when our dinner came out within ten minutes, and dinner was over before we knew it. G and I stared at each other, not sure what we should do next. Our carefully envisioned date night was done.

We all have expectations. They can be as simple as how our day will go, to the important relationships in our life. We had been out for dinner on a classic "date night." Date night is what parents' dinner call the rare opportunity to go somewhere without kids. Sure, the kids go to school or their grandmother's. But it is not often when G and I get to eat a meal without someone crawling under the table or running around the table while trying to eat and drink at the same time.

As a surgeon, I manage expectations daily or at least try to. Patients go into surgery with a wide range of expectations. Some people will be happy with just a little improvement in their lives, and others wish for a magic bullet to fix everything. Studies in my field looking at precisely this are fascinating. Researchers have found a delicate balance between the hopes or the positives and fears or the negatives. It is important to discuss these hopes and fears before embarking on major life decisions such as surgery.

Expectations are essential in food. My mother would make masala dosa on the weekends. Dosa are savory crepes typically served with masala potatoes, coconut chutney, and dal. You can find recipes for those here and here. Ferment urad dal and rice overnight, creating a tangy batter. Gently spread it on a griddle, and you have a delicious crispy breakfast. She would patiently ferment the batter, give it a few stirs to make sure it was the perfect consistency, then spread the perfect dosa. I had watched her make them a million times, and I expected I could do it too.

My first attempt, and my second, and many more were disappointments. My batter was too thin, then too thick. Then they wouldn't come out the classic crispy circle. One time they stuck to the pan, leaving me with pieces of dosa. I had such high expectations for making dosa. But, I slowly realized that making them takes time and practice. If my expectations had been different from the beginning, perhaps I would not have been so disappointed. I would have better understood the process and that they did not have to be perfect on the first try.

Poet and Flower have expectations too. As little as they are, teaching them about realistic expectations will help them grow into little people who can better navigate our crazy world.

Masala Dosa

Savory Indian crepes served with masala potatoes, chutney or a ghee. Ferment rice and urad dal to make a tangy batther. They are the classic South Indian breakfast.

Serves 8-10

• 4 cups rice (long grain)
• 1 cup urad dal
• 1 tablespoon fenugreek seeds
• 1 teaspoon toor dal
• 1 teaspoon poha or flattened rice

1. Rinse the rice and the urad dal. In a large bowl, add the rice, urad dal, fenugreek seeds, toor dal and poha. Cover with 3 inches of water. Let soak for 5-6 hours.

2. Strain the rice and dal mixture and add to a blender. Add 1 1/2 to 2 cups of water and blend until smooth, about 5 minutes. The batter should be thick enough to coat the back of a spoon. If it's on the thick side, that's ok, you can let it ferment and then add water to thin it later.

3. Ferment the batter in a warm place for about 10-12 hours or overnight. You can put it in a bowl, cover with a towel and leave on the counter overnight. I can't do this unless its summer. You can preheat the oven to 185 degrees and then turn off. Leave the covered bowl in the oven to ferment overnight. I like to use the instant pot on yogurt mode. It works well. Once the batter is fermented it should be almost doubled in volume and thick and bubbly.

4. Head a griddle or cast iron skillet over medium heat. Give the batter a few stirs. Oil the griddle. Pour about 1/4 cup in the center and using a circular motion spread it out in a circle. Spray the edges with oil. Cook for 2-3 minutes until golden and crisp. Flip and cook one minute.

5. Serve hot with masala potatoes, coconut chutney or ghee.