The Great Uni the Unicorn Tantrum- Gajar Halwa

Parenting is like a sea of landmines. One wrong move and you're left with yelling, crying children. But if you acquiesce every time, you have complacent, entitled children who always get their way. I understand as a parent it is ok for children to have their tantrums, that it is a part of childhood, but I have always found it difficult to watch. I am not one of those parents who calmly watches and waits. Instead, I feel very much like I have to do something or intervene. But I have slowly realized that that is my biggest mistake (or one of) - I am not supposed to do anything. Poet and Flower have to figure it out themselves, and this takes time. Tough lessons that they have to learn themselves and that I cannot make happen any faster.

One of our biggest tantrums happened a few years ago in San Francisco. We had had a busy day sightseeing. We took the metro, the ferry and finally ended up at MoMa San Francisco. Perhaps that was our mistake. It was the end of the day, and we were leaving through the gift shop. G and I love museum gift shops. They often have unique things that can mark our visit. And I am never one to not browse. We found ourselves in front of a huge display for Uni the Unicorn. Now, this is a super cute unicorn based on a book and also has his own movie. The display had huge plushie toys and filled the window. Flower decided right then that she had to have Uni. Her life would not be complete without this unicorn. She started crying, then full-on lying down in the store, saying she would not leave without Uni. Poet looked on with a little confusion and had very little interest in this whole scene. G and Poet calmly walked out onto the sidewalk and stood in the window, watching this scene unfold. And in this instance, I realized it was not about a toy, or a unicorn, or a thing, but just Flower being super tired and unable to move forward. After what seemed like an eternity, she stopped crying, and we joined G and Poet and took the bus, the metro, the ferry, and back home.

And so food takes time and patience, and a little understanding. This week I made gajar halva. This is a classic Indian dessert that is rich and decadent. Made with carrots, sugar, and cream, it takes time to cook the carrots down until you have a smooth and sleek pudding. There is no rushing it. In my mother's classic recipe, she uses half and half instead of milk, which cuts the time just a little. But you have to stand and stir frequently, making sure the carrots don't stick or burn. But the result is well worth it. You have a delicious silky carrot pudding, flavored with a little cinnamon, cardamom, and cloves.

The next time Poet and Flower have a tantrum, I will do my best to stand by and let them figure it out. Raising kids is a marathon and takes a lot of time and patience. I will do my best to help them figure it all out.

Gajar Halwa

A classic Indian dessert made with carrots, cream, and sugar. It takes a little time but it worth the effort. Serve warm or with a scoop of ice cream.

Serves 8

• 2 pounds carrots
• 1/2 cup ghee or clarified butter
• 2 sticks cinnamon
• 6 cloves
• 6 cardamon
• 3/4-1 cup sugar
• 1 cup half and half
• 1/3 cup whole almonds
• 1/8 cup milk
• 1/4 cup almonds (sliced or slivered)
• pinch of salt

1. Finely grate carrots with a box grater. I use a food processor and though the carrots weren't as fine, it made it much easier and faster.

2. In a blender, grind the whole almonds with milk until it is very fine.
3. Heat ghee over medium heat. Add cinnamon, cloves, and cardamom. When they sizzle, about 30 seconds, add the sliced almonds. Saute 30 seconds.
4. Add the grated carrots and cook uncovered, stirring frequently for 45 minutes until they have cooked down and most of the water has evaporated.
5. Add almond puree and half and half and cook carrots on medium heat, stirring constantly for approximately 30 minutes.
6. Add 3/4 cup sugar and continue to cook over medium low heat, again stirring constantly for about 10 minutes. Add pinch of salt.
7. The halvah is cooked when the carrots are glossy and shiny and it will pull away from the sides of the pan.
8. Serve warm or with a dollop of ice cream.