Is Life a Race? - South Indian Vaal Dal (Butter beans)

Is life a race? As a kid growing up, it sure felt like one. At least life was a race academically, if not in other aspects. As a child of Indian immigrants, my parents were certain education was the only path to success. Getting good grades was paramount. If I came home with grades less than the best, then I was urged, pushed to do better next time. When I was little I would look forward to middle school or high school graduation. My Dad would emphatically say that medical school graduation was the only one that really counted.

These themes echoed throughout my childhood and into adulthood. High school was a constant race to get better grades and excel. Then through college and medical school. Medical school was a pressure cooker, with over a hundred very motivated, very competitive people. I do not think it brought out the best in me. It was only when I was done with medical school and started residency, training in ob/gyn that I had the time and maturity to assess my own drive and competitive spirit.

G and I talk about this and how we want to raise Poet and Flower. As parents, we want them to do their best and succeed, but how can we do this differently? I do not want them to experience a constant push and pressure to succeed. But at the same time, some amount of drive is necessary ( i think) to succeed. They are in a very different place than I was as a kid. I felt like that kid on the outside looking in. This may not have been entirely true, but it contributed to my sense of wanting to succeed.

And perhaps that's where the difference lies. It's about learning values, building a foundation, and then their drive will come naturally. Poet and Flower are learning to swim and recently started karate lessons. Flower is very athletic and has picked it up quickly, while Poet is taking his time. Their wonderful sensei said very astutely, karate is a different path for everyone. And perhaps that is where the truth lies.

This week I made South Indian Vaal dal. They are also knows as fava beans or broad beans. They have a characteristic flavor that is a little earthy and slightly bitter. I countered the bitterness with extra tomatoes. My mother's original recipe added ground beef, which does add a nice balance to the beans. The recipe is simple, and you can easily make it for a weeknight dinner.

So we will continue to give Poet and Flower the tools they need to be successful in life. Life is not a race but a marathon. I may have sprinted to where I am today, but perhaps we can teach Poet and Flower how to jog.

South Indian Vaal Dal (Butter Beans)

This South Indian dal is quick and easy. Vaal dal or butter beans have a unique flavor and are earthy and just a little bitter. They complement the cilantro and tomatoes nicely.

My mother's recipe called for a 1/2 pound of ground beef. I left it out so the dish can be vegetarian, but the meat adds a nice balance to the dal.

Serves 4

• 1 cup vaal dal (soaked for 4 hours)
• 4 tablespoons oil
• 1/2 pound ground beef (optional)
• 1 medium onion (chopped)
• 1 inch cinnamon stick
• 3 cloves garlic (minced)
• 1 inch piece of ginger (minced)
• 2 medium tomatoes (finely chopped)
• 3 green chilis
• 3/4 cup cilantro (chopped)
• 2 teaspoons coriander powder
• 1/4 teaspoon chili powder
• 1/2 teaspoon turmeric
• 2 teaspoons ground coconut powder
• 1 cup water

1. In a medium saucepan, heat oil over medium heat. Add the cinnamon, then quickly add the onions. Saute until the onions are soft, about 10 minutes.
2. Add the garlic and ginger and saute. You want them to be golden and brown and just start sticking to the pan.
3. Now add the tomatoes, coriander powder, chili powder, turmeric, and salt. If you are using ground beef, add it now as well. Saute until the tomatoes are soft, about 5 minutes.
4. Now add the vaal dal and cilantro. Stir and add in the coconut powder and water. Bring to a boil, hten simmer for 30 minutes. The dal should be soft, but not broken.
5. Serve with rice or roti.